What do you think of this journalism article?
February 18th, 2010
I am applying for a position on my high school’s journalism staff. I was told to prepare a sample article. I am a sophomore in high school. Please tell me what you think. Any comments please.
At noon on February 9th, the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival began announcing the artists that would be attending this upcoming summer’s festival. This year however, the Roo staff decided to switch things up. Instead of announcing the initial lineup simultaneously, one band was announced every five minutes on their MySpace page.
Not only did the fans have to wait five long minutes for the next name to adorn their computer screen, but also before each band was announced, a short animation would play across their screen. From a cowboy lassoing his cowgirl to a bear chowing down on an alien, each animation would add to the suspense of the wait. Finally, a band or artist’s name would flash on the screen and the wait paid off.
First to be announced was the folk/rock band The Avett Brothers who are veterans of Bonnaroo. Following the Avett Brothers were acts such as Norah Jones, Regina Spektor, and Jay-Z. Small names like Diane Birch, Neon Indian, and Tokyo Police Club. Never less, the lineup never failed to impress. Weezer, Kid Cudi, Dave Matthews Band, and even Nashville’s very own Kings of Leon are all joined the lineup throughout the day. The final name to be released on the initial lineup was Stevie Wonder.
The Bonnaroo music festival, which will take place June 10 – 13 in Manchester, Tennessee, along with posting the initial lineup, placed the festival tickets on sale. Presale tickets were sold in December for a discounted price for those Bonnaroo regulars and others willing to take the leap of faith that Bonnaroo wouldn’t disappoint with their lineup. General admission tickets are available now for $ 234.50 plus applicable fees on the Bonnaroo website until sold-out. Once these tickets are gone, the ticket’s price will bump up to $249.50.
Each year the Bonnaroo staff continues to improve the Bonnarooer’s experience at the music and arts festival. The staff over the past nine years has listened to the feedback given from the Bonnaroo community. What bands the listeners liked, whom they wish to see in the future, and many more. The festival accommodates to all group sizes and demographics. From families to singles, this festival is perfect for al types of music and art lovers.
Imagine four music filled days during the relaxing summer surrounded by all art forms. Waking up at noon and immediately being able to walk to watch Dr. Dog perform, take a midday nap, eat some food, get a tan while listening to Ingrid Michaelson live, and then raving to the sound of The Flaming Lips. This is Bonnaroo.
Bonnaroo is an experience like no other and is worth every dollar. This ticket entitles one to see over 125 artists and comedians alike at his leisure. Set up a tent, sleep until noon, and stay up until the break of dawn jamming to your favorite artists.
Bonnaroo 2010, the music, the atmosphere, everything about it makes the five month wait seem like a lifetime. So for now, make mix CDs of all the Bonnaroo lineup and enjoy the music, because once you are at the festival nothing will ever be able to compare to the live performances and experiences you will have there.
To see the complete lineup you can log onto Bonnaroo.com and learn more about the festival and receive all the answers to other questions about the festival. Bonnaroo is an experience you will not want to miss out on. As a third year veteran returning to the Bonnaroo scene once again this summer, I promise you it will be the best four days of the summer, ones you will never forget.
Any news story needs to have quotes. You need to have sources to back up what you’re saying, that is what makes the story, not your content. Look into the style of what is known as "Lead, quote, transition, quote." That is the correct format of a news story. Its what every writer for any major paper uses. The only huge thing I see as a problem with your story is once it reaches the "image four music filled days…" paragraph. At this point to the end, your story devolves in to nothing more than a narrative. Don’t misunderstand, narrative writing certainly has its own place. However that place is not in a newspaper. Never speak directly to the reader or tell them to do something. That is incorrect. As journalists, our job is to collect the information, and present it to the public. Not to take it and make our own assumptions and give those assumptions to the public. We must remain unbiased. Overall though, I think with a little practice and practical training from your journalism teacher you could be an excellent writer. You certainly show that you have the potential for it. Good luck! :]
Plot: Anti-Semitism, race relations, coming of age, and fathers and sons: in Baltimore from fall, 1954, to fall, 1955. Racial integration comes to the high school, TV is killing burlesque, and rock and roll is pushing the Four Lads off the Hit Parade. Ben, a high school senior, and his older brother Van are exploring “the other”: in Ben’s case, it’s friendship with Sylvia, a Black student; with Van, it’s a party in the WASP part of town and falling for a debutante, Dubbie. Sylvia gives Ben tickets to a James Brown concert; Dubbie invites Van to a motel: new worlds open. Meanwhile, their dad Nate, who runs a numbers game, loses big to a small-time pusher, Little Melvin; a partnership ensues.
DVLH Destruction in Door County
Plot: Anti-Semitism, race relations, coming of age, and fathers and sons: in Baltimore from fall, 1954, to fall, 1955. Racial integration comes to the high school, TV is killing burlesque, and rock and roll is pushing the Four Lads off the Hit Parade. Ben, a high school senior, and his older brother Van are exploring “the other”: in Ben’s case, it’s friendship with Sylvia, a Black student; with Van, it’s a party in the WASP part of town and falling for a debutante, Dubbie. Sylvia gives Ben tickets to a James Brown concert; Dubbie invites Van to a motel: new worlds open. Meanwhile, their dad Nate, who runs a numbers game, loses big to a small-time pusher, Little Melvin; a partnership ensues.
Plot: Anti-Semitism, race relations, coming of age, and fathers and sons: in Baltimore from fall, 1954, to fall, 1955. Racial integration comes to the high school, TV is killing burlesque, and rock and roll is pushing the Four Lads off the Hit Parade. Ben, a high school senior, and his older brother Van are exploring “the other”: in Ben’s case, it’s friendship with Sylvia, a Black student; with Van, it’s a party in the WASP part of town and falling for a debutante, Dubbie. Sylvia gives Ben tickets to a James Brown concert; Dubbie invites Van to a motel: new worlds open. Meanwhile, their dad Nate, who runs a numbers game, loses big to a small-time pusher, Little Melvin; a partnership ensues.
Plot: Anti-Semitism, race relations, coming of age, and fathers and sons: in Baltimore from fall, 1954, to fall, 1955. Racial integration comes to the high school, TV is killing burlesque, and rock and roll is pushing the Four Lads off the Hit Parade. Ben, a high school senior, and his older brother Van are exploring “the other”: in Ben’s case, it’s friendship with Sylvia, a Black student; with Van, it’s a party in the WASP part of town and falling for a debutante, Dubbie. Sylvia gives Ben tickets to a James Brown concert; Dubbie invites Van to a motel: new worlds open. Meanwhile, their dad Nate, who runs a numbers game, loses big to a small-time pusher, Little Melvin; a partnership ensues.
An indiana jone stop motion please ignore all this
Plot: Anti-Semitism, race relations, coming of age, and fathers and sons: in Baltimore from fall, 1954, to fall, 1955. Racial integration comes to the high school, TV is killing burlesque, and rock and roll is pushing the Four Lads off the Hit Parade. Ben, a high school senior, and his older brother Van are exploring “the other”: in Ben’s case, it’s friendship with Sylvia, a Black student; with Van, it’s a party in the WASP part of town and falling for a debutante, Dubbie. Sylvia gives Ben tickets to a James Brown concert; Dubbie invites Van to a motel: new worlds open. Meanwhile, their dad Nate, who runs a numbers game, loses big to a small-time pusher, Little Melvin; a partnership ensues.